people may be STUPID, but they are not any less, insensitive.

ei.bee.si.

It has been more than a year now, since I met him.

A lot has changed. My life took a 360-degree turn from everything I thought I knew; and I assumed I had better judgment then. Looking back, I had come to the realization, that what I was yesterday, is very different from the I, that I am now and will be.

What I believed in? Was this: Thy Will Be Done.
---
It sounded brilliant. It seemed profound. It looked holy-like.

But what it was, was really an escape from being accountable for all your actions. It served as a blind support to one’s immaturity and self-centeredness. It was a preposterous excuse for being judgmental and being irrational.

In my opinion, the values, the morals, and the philosophies, to which I built my character, were way superficial. It lacked conviction. There were no solid grounds where they could stand on their own. It was empty. And so was I.

I struggled to find where exactly, I would fit in. Numerous attempts were tried, each one, failed. I got no answer to it, I just fumbled. Thus, I walk away every time. Never, have I imagined that I will be this liberated. What I know now, what I believe --- I owe it to that man. He helped me view things in an unconventional but truthful manner; pulled me out of the deluded notions I was protecting and fighting for (which were ages ago). I think I am now a made individual and I really would like to believe in that.

There must be a right time for everything then because honestly, where I am at, and how I perceive the twisted and unpredictable ways of mankind, I can say that I have reached that level of maturity where it best delivers its purpose. I hear the echoes and pleas of the innocent ones; I sense the purity and impurity of the impoverished; I smell the anger and rage of the deceived; I see the blacks and whites of the abused; I taste the hunger and thirst of the uneducated fool; and I breathe their longing to wrestle their lost identities.


What it must be, must be. The vulgarity of such carries with it a great sense of responsibility. One must be armed to swallow the weight of its bluntness, and endure the sting of its menace. There is no easy way but to get naked and bare your soul out in the open.



...There is a long way road to it. And I am more than prepared to take it --- knowing that, that is where I would want to be, exactly.

kismet II.

I have long witnessed the tenacity
Of your will, to which you’ve
Laid upon the ground you believe in.


I have seen you fight,
With the boldness of the words
You prefer to speak of.



I have dealt with the fury
Of your anger; but with such subtleness
You redeem yourself.



With these, I speak of what my eyes
See in you. I have long hoped for it
To measure down, with what I have to offer.
It wasn’t easy being your girl. But I did stay,
And I will, always.



I was never brave enough
To do the things I wanted to;
I was afraid of the callous providences ---
Hoping that it could save me,
From the perils of the strange and unfamiliar.




I am that soul, awaiting for miracles
To conjure somewhere, within my reach.
But you, you made me realize what it
Really means to be free.



I have done things I never thought I would,
And maybe, those were my
Escape, from years of longing and imprisonment.
But I am slowly chasing my own tail now and clinging dearly to it.


And I will live.
Just as you would like me to.
From all of the unwanted mayhem;
I surrender everything to you.




Love, know that, It, was for you. (figure it out)
I do not know how or why.
Maybe, I just did.






Forever yours, I will be.