i was struck by this idea some days ago. i was talking to myself, well not really, i was actually having this conversation with God about things --- my usual rantings about random stuff. then i came about with this notion about puzzles. yeah. puzzles. as in like jigsaw puzzles. or that kind of puzzle included in the kiddie pack give aways during kiddie birthdays. you know with the cartoon character on it? well, i felt like one. i feel like that most of the time nowadays. i felt like i was one of the pieces needed to be put up when jumbled. i feel like i have all the right pieces to match but couldn't find its exact placings. i couldn't venture just as much because something is missing. something mismatched that i couldn't seem to fix. and it bothers me. it bothers me because it is who i am supposed to be. i am supposed to be whole. i am supposed to be a complete being in all its rightful places. but i am not. and i wonder why. no matter how re-arranged my life seems to be, i still couldn't figure out how to be one.
it's only a matter of time when i'd know what i am supposed to be, what i really want, who and what i am living for. everything has a purpose, and so they say --- and i believe in it. i just have to start learning how to believe in myself and what i could do.. right?
