out cold.

What have I done?

I never wanted any of this,

.

.

.

.

.

But life is just unfair.

And then you act so cold

.

...................................So barren, so distant

...............And I was afraid, that we

Are back to being

.....................Strangers,

As we once were.

blank spaces.

We, are living between these blank spaces.



And though we try to fill it,


Still


We couldn’t figure out how to.



We cannot help but content ourselves to what we’re sure of.


We’re blinded. And like a crippled soul, we are trapped in our own death.

Regret sears into our forlorn fate. And we mourn over another lost battle --- one day, we cannot put back.

We try to find ourselves in the face of our own defeat.



What happens after the loss has sink in?



Bit by bit, we try to piece what was left of us.

We see a ray of hope.
We sense enlightenment.
We feel a change of heart.

And inspite of it all,

We’re ready to start,



............................….....again.

a walk before the truth.

by: c.a. guanco


As I walk down the aisle…
my hair all fixed..
my gown free flowing…
all dressed up for this

As I walk down the aisle...
you, the man of my dreams
patiently waiting on the other end
ready to take my hand…

As I walk down the aisle…
every inch I savor
step by step
towards eternity..

As I walk down the aisle…
I see visions of bliss…
my future with you
our home, our children..

As I walk down the aisle...
every step, a flashback
of moments we spent together
of times we made love…

As I walk down the aisle...
I smiled and recall
how you vowed to be with me
and now it’s worth the wait

As I walk down the aisle…
A tear dropped from my eye
I took the sudden turn
And watch you meet your bride…


a moment before the truth.

by: patty cabrera


As I wait down the aisle…
In a crisp white tuxedo
All prepared for this moment
To finally, be with the woman I love

As I wait down the aisle…
I see her, the woman of my dreams
Whom I once professed undying love
Smiling brightly like she used to

As I wait down the aisle…
I remember, those times I held her
Sang her favourite songs, and
Danced the night away with her

As I wait down the aisle…
Memories keep coming back
To the days where my world
Intertwines with her and her alone


As I wait down the aisle…
I can’t help but stare
At her lovely face that never fails to
Make my heart beat interminably

As I wait down the aisle…
She saw me, looking at her
And now I ask myself how
Things fell apart for the both of us…

As I wait down the aisle…
I bowed my head, held this one last
Tear I had for her, looked at her,
And whispered “I do”…

severed.

…Was it you?


The perfect silhouette
That dazzled me ever
So wonderfully

And under the magnificence
Of your presence,

..............................I am alive.

Curled up
Between these sheets
of unfamiliar atonement,

............................To your voice that resounds,
............................Over and over,
............................Gravitating towards
............................Our past,

...........................................of you and me.

I was lost.

…is it still the same?

The instances of hope to infinity
Where I once gave in
To my deepest desires

..........And on that promised day
..........You said you’re coming home...

...............I waited,

but you never did.

shattered into a million pieces …
Funny isn’t it?

...........Now it does not fail
...........to humor my sanity.
...........Strangers we have become.
...........Cold as we entwine.

yes, I learned to wait

and love...

........................and die...

by:
patty cabrera
&
c.a. guanco

The Lover's Vow.

Your lips are the
............Perfect antidote –
They burn like fire;
They numb like ice;
............It is such a tease,
A sure lure
............To temptation…

Your brown eyes
.............Expressive as this poem
.............Deep as the sea
.............Vast as the universe
They drown me with
.............Its stare
Another fascination
.............I couldn’t bear

You make me high
And I couldn’t figure out why,
Your breath sends me
..............Into abyss,
All with just one kiss

You make my heart
...............Stop beating
You make me
...............Forget breathing
But under your embrace
...............I will live forever
For as long as
...............We are together

Maybe it’s time for me
...............To confess,
That in you,
I had found
................The ONE
That it is you
To whom,
I see myself,
................Forever with…

Every waking hour
................I think of you
Bringing light over
................Years of sorrow
God knows I have
.................Paid my dues
So let me be,
.................This time,
.................Whom you choose

I cry my heart out loud
I LOVE YOU, without a doubt;
Like a shooting star
That’s so very far,
I’ll keep on wishing
To wait in vain,
...................I’d be willing.

Yet, in fact, I have
....................Been waiting
Patiently as I may
Then,
.....................“I LOVE YOU TOO,”
..................... I heard you say.
“Let us start forever,
............ Today…”


by:
Patti Cabrera
&
Christine Gozon

11/11/08

Ceasefire

Ceasefire.

Sentient being, the time has come
I bring wrath upon your soul…
A tragic death to your very truth…
Tonight I cast your sorrow…

A mortal soul playing god
And a feet tainted with oil…
We see them walk in the desert
Step-click-boom! Death’s birth…

A tragic loss of humanity
A battle of hell
Where no one,
Not one…
Wins!

Burned homes and farmlands
Destroyed schools and hospitals
Decaying bodies lying around
Hear the children cry
Make this madness stop!

The moment we were born,
We were already condemned.
Someone said, “We
Are attached to death,
Chained like prisoners”;
Our existence is
Our very own battleground.

And from the time
We opened our eyes,
We fight for our survival.
Where we be fittest,
Is the only
Place we could
Contain our sanity.
Everything else –-----
The sounds, sights. Even
Our solace,
They are only backgrounds
To this once isolated place

Now it’s time to stand defeated
From peace talks left unsaid
Face the prize, no winning ground
Unless we are all dead

-aris, ca, christine, patti-
November 5, 2008

stained glass.

Stained Glass.

For hours I’ve been withstanding
The cold fury of the night
As I stand here outside
Your door,
Waiting for you to finally
Say something…

I pictured this on my mind
Hundreds of times
Can you hear my heart?
Beating…
Anticipating…

Tonight my skin will be tested
The heat from my chest,
Coldness of the wind,
My hand,
It can barely move
But shaking…

I see your face and find
Myself…
Coming back without
Hesitation…
Your eyes strike like
A raging storm…
Sending me to euphoria…

Those words I long
To hear,
Begging you, for
This one last chance,
.............this last chance…

I look at you
Look into my eyes
Undressing my soul
Filling my heart
I asked you what you see
“The other half of me…”

-aris, ca, christine, patti-
November 5, 2006

tres.

bored. bored. bored..

***

que sera, sera.

as i lie awake
in your arms
tears start to
form in my eyes;

with a heavy heart,
i tried to subdue it.

i never imagined
we would come to this..

and as i was on the verge of
breaking down

i turned away..

so you couldn't see..
so you couldn't feel..

so i could spare you
the guilt,

the pain,
this has caused me.

i tried to hold back ---
but this is beyond
what i could contain
this is too much.



too much.




muffled cries
i tried to stifle,
until i could no longer see.

still couldn't believe
you'd leave me.


you killed me with love
but now you let me live in death

you impassioned with such intensity
but now you kiss me
with such cold caresses

you held me enthusiastically
but now you touch me infinitesimally..


you left me hanging,



...for nothing.







my heart still aches for you;



but love,







where do i go now?

dos.

mangled bones;
i tried to ignore.

my breaths are numbered,
it's only a matter of time..


don't despair, love.
we will see each other again.


and then it goes..
`
`
`
`
`
`
`
`
`
`
`
`
`
`
`
`
`


...i never even had the chance


to say goodbye...

uno.

his eyes



drifted, momentarily







towards her direction.







she,



sat there



almost without







blinking.





they looked



into





each other's eyes



and



knew



right from that moment,





they had found



the





ONE.

ninth.

i.

The lonesome man seated at his wooden chair
Still waiting for his one great love
To come back for him
Never moving on, not going forwards
Like the broken clock
That’s hidden beneath my bed
Silently signalling the dead;
To finally hear its calling
And summon everything not wanted ---
Killing it, Abandoning it.

ii.

People always search for the right things
But I have always been up for the wrong ones;
Though I know how much pain
This would cause me,
I dwell on it
Believing that it would someday
Bring me closer to you.

iii.

It is quite unbelievable
How when you whisper in my ear
And say things that boldly
Confess your once sworn love,
Satiates my soul;
Always leaving me breathless..

iv.

Alone and hopeless
While watching you go away
You never looked back
To the place where we met;
That day when I thought
I could call someone
To be my very own.

v.

These would be the last verses
I would write
About you and me
Though I love you still,
I have to move on now…


vi.

They say, in time,
All wounds become healed.
Somehow, they are right.
But what they don’t know is,
Where the wounds have ended,
A scar lies beneath.
Making it impossible to freely escape from it all..

failure.

unspoken words mean nothing..

if you always fear
of the unknown
or of not taking risks

you will never get hold
of what's been really
laid out for you.


you will always
feel regret
for not doing so.


failure
does not mean
you have failed
achieving your goal

it will always
teach you
something
far greater than
your expectations.

failure teaches you
to be humbled
and be humbled

despite



everything








unwanted.

down at the sidewalk.

falling leaves on a sunday morn
the wind blowing against
my cheeks.

i hear you, still, calling my name.


you were once my perfect place.
singing tunes on your vinyl cd's
running in your favorite
tattered sneakers
while licking ice cream
on the way to the park..

walking hand in hand,
side by side,
you were once my
most prized possession..

and in a day like this,
i remember,


how we came


to be apart..

love.

so, why do people love?
in the midst of uncertainty
do we think to ourselves
how humans, alone and one,
find themselves risking
their solitude state to
something more vague than
a 'significant other'
it's a choice so tragic
yet a magical ordeal
one can not not want.

11:15

im getting sick. of it all. the redundancy of hopeless folios piled up behind these closed doors hits me everytime. and now i stay awake, thinking what went wrong. all along.

mistakes are that faint scars still visible from this surface. i know. pain is good for the soul once in a while --- though i burn in it, it gives me a sense of power. it is synonymous to an elixir only with the hell tag.

it won’t take long for me to finally realize what is really of worth. i look around and i see how i’ve become and what has become of the girl i used to know.

different poles, living in one beat. we are wired that way. and sometimes, even if we don’t admit it, we thrive on that fact, just to survive…

requiem.

tonight, i made a pact with the
two-horned creature, with burning thirst,
he then derived a lethal concoction,
a swig of my blood,
with the eternal demise of my soul

he laughed disdainfully at this
meagre capitulation,
celebrated at his victorious feat,
a ravenous urge
to parade his latest victim

his notorious whip tore at my skin
it burned my flesh,
took my life away,
little by little,
i can feel the end rushing through

this torturous chastisement
made me fall on my knees, while
looking through those red-fiery eyes
pleading to take it all back,
obliterate my sworn testimony

i knew he wouldn’t oblige
i couldn’t back out anymore
i was incarcerated, put out
into dying alive,
i know now what this is,


this is hell.

Headlong.

Take a good look around you
And feel the breeze longing to seethe
Through your alabaster skin
Making its presence felt
Demanding for attention

Take a good look around you
To see the bright sky turn into
The night time; a beautiful
Revelation in this hopeless realm,
Witnessing the death of another day

Take a good look around you
It is a chance for you to walk
Backwards and muse over
What you have done
Know your mistakes and rectify them

Take a good look around you
And taste each moment lovingly
Savour them, keep them,
Do the most out of it
Appraise it, learn from it

Take a good look around you
Forget those sad stories
Which make you cry and miss
Instead turn it to something
More tempting than bliss

Take a good look around you
Hear the sound of nature,
The voices singing Alleluia
Filling the gap, the blank spaces
Pulling you closer to Nirvana

Take a good look around you
Let the unsung years of being
Imprisoned within, take its course
To seek redemption
To find its rightful rhythm
____________ And start all over again

like the wind.

what is a poem?


..like a fleet sway in the ocean,
whispers like an icy cliche
can't compare in any dozen,
stained against, tail of time and fate

tattooed straight to her heart and soul
begins with a breathe of new birth
sprang, to express eternal role
segued through the skin, so to have worth

delivers truth in every word
casts an impact in every inch
for somebody it is the world
scatters word into flaming cold..

caged.

these metal chains get heavier
and heavier
its weight wears me down

it crushes my fragile bones,
gripping it ever so
tightly

and no one seems to notice...





i was left in this lock down to die alone.

in passing.

the stillness of silence
reverberates
an old wound that has
faded but carries with it
a faint scar

bearing buried promises
of the once faithful lad

and somewhere far...


she remembers.