falling leaves on a sunday morn
the wind blowing against
my cheeks.
i hear you, still, calling my name.
you were once my perfect place.
singing tunes on your vinyl cd's
running in your favorite
tattered sneakers
while licking ice cream
on the way to the park..
walking hand in hand,
side by side,
you were once my
most prized possession..
and in a day like this,
i remember,
how we came
to be apart..
9.23.2008
9.16.2008
love.
so, why do people love?
in the midst of uncertainty
do we think to ourselves
how humans, alone and one,
find themselves risking
their solitude state to
something more vague than
a 'significant other'
it's a choice so tragic
yet a magical ordeal
one can not not want.
in the midst of uncertainty
do we think to ourselves
how humans, alone and one,
find themselves risking
their solitude state to
something more vague than
a 'significant other'
it's a choice so tragic
yet a magical ordeal
one can not not want.
11:15
im getting sick. of it all. the redundancy of hopeless folios piled up behind these closed doors hits me everytime. and now i stay awake, thinking what went wrong. all along.
mistakes are that faint scars still visible from this surface. i know. pain is good for the soul once in a while --- though i burn in it, it gives me a sense of power. it is synonymous to an elixir only with the hell tag.
it won’t take long for me to finally realize what is really of worth. i look around and i see how i’ve become and what has become of the girl i used to know.
different poles, living in one beat. we are wired that way. and sometimes, even if we don’t admit it, we thrive on that fact, just to survive…
7.25.2008
requiem.
tonight, i made a pact with the
two-horned creature, with burning thirst,
he then derived a lethal concoction,
a swig of my blood,
with the eternal demise of my soul
he laughed disdainfully at this
meagre capitulation,
celebrated at his victorious feat,
a ravenous urge
to parade his latest victim
his notorious whip tore at my skin
it burned my flesh,
took my life away,
little by little,
i can feel the end rushing through
this torturous chastisement
made me fall on my knees, while
looking through those red-fiery eyes
pleading to take it all back,
obliterate my sworn testimony
i knew he wouldn’t oblige
i couldn’t back out anymore
i was incarcerated, put out
into dying alive,
i know now what this is,
this is hell.
two-horned creature, with burning thirst,
he then derived a lethal concoction,
a swig of my blood,
with the eternal demise of my soul
he laughed disdainfully at this
meagre capitulation,
celebrated at his victorious feat,
a ravenous urge
to parade his latest victim
his notorious whip tore at my skin
it burned my flesh,
took my life away,
little by little,
i can feel the end rushing through
this torturous chastisement
made me fall on my knees, while
looking through those red-fiery eyes
pleading to take it all back,
obliterate my sworn testimony
i knew he wouldn’t oblige
i couldn’t back out anymore
i was incarcerated, put out
into dying alive,
i know now what this is,
this is hell.
7.24.2008
Headlong.
Take a good look around you
And feel the breeze longing to seethe
Through your alabaster skin
Making its presence felt
Demanding for attention
Take a good look around you
To see the bright sky turn into
The night time; a beautiful
Revelation in this hopeless realm,
Witnessing the death of another day
Take a good look around you
It is a chance for you to walk
Backwards and muse over
What you have done
Know your mistakes and rectify them
Take a good look around you
And taste each moment lovingly
Savour them, keep them,
Do the most out of it
Appraise it, learn from it
Take a good look around you
Forget those sad stories
Which make you cry and miss
Instead turn it to something
More tempting than bliss
Take a good look around you
Hear the sound of nature,
The voices singing Alleluia
Filling the gap, the blank spaces
Pulling you closer to Nirvana
Take a good look around you
Let the unsung years of being
Imprisoned within, take its course
To seek redemption
To find its rightful rhythm
____________ And start all over again
And feel the breeze longing to seethe
Through your alabaster skin
Making its presence felt
Demanding for attention
Take a good look around you
To see the bright sky turn into
The night time; a beautiful
Revelation in this hopeless realm,
Witnessing the death of another day
Take a good look around you
It is a chance for you to walk
Backwards and muse over
What you have done
Know your mistakes and rectify them
Take a good look around you
And taste each moment lovingly
Savour them, keep them,
Do the most out of it
Appraise it, learn from it
Take a good look around you
Forget those sad stories
Which make you cry and miss
Instead turn it to something
More tempting than bliss
Take a good look around you
Hear the sound of nature,
The voices singing Alleluia
Filling the gap, the blank spaces
Pulling you closer to Nirvana
Take a good look around you
Let the unsung years of being
Imprisoned within, take its course
To seek redemption
To find its rightful rhythm
____________ And start all over again
7.20.2008
like the wind.
what is a poem?
..like a fleet sway in the ocean,
whispers like an icy cliche
can't compare in any dozen,
stained against, tail of time and fate
tattooed straight to her heart and soul
begins with a breathe of new birth
sprang, to express eternal role
segued through the skin, so to have worth
delivers truth in every word
casts an impact in every inch
for somebody it is the world
scatters word into flaming cold..
..like a fleet sway in the ocean,
whispers like an icy cliche
can't compare in any dozen,
stained against, tail of time and fate
tattooed straight to her heart and soul
begins with a breathe of new birth
sprang, to express eternal role
segued through the skin, so to have worth
delivers truth in every word
casts an impact in every inch
for somebody it is the world
scatters word into flaming cold..
caged.
these metal chains get heavier
and heavier
its weight wears me down
it crushes my fragile bones,
gripping it ever so
tightly
and no one seems to notice...
i was left in this lock down to die alone.
and heavier
its weight wears me down
it crushes my fragile bones,
gripping it ever so
tightly
and no one seems to notice...
i was left in this lock down to die alone.
7.12.2008
in passing.
the stillness of silence
reverberates
an old wound that has
faded but carries with it
a faint scar
bearing buried promises
of the once faithful lad
and somewhere far...
she remembers.
reverberates
an old wound that has
faded but carries with it
a faint scar
bearing buried promises
of the once faithful lad
and somewhere far...
she remembers.
7.11.2008
an impasse.
in the midst of confusion
and tell tales of damnation
we lose the very essence of truth.
we forget our values,
stances and beliefs.
we become doubtful,
living and manipulating
stories of our own.
our imagination controls us indefinitely
till we become
hypnotized under its spell.
we become prisoners of our own bait.
we lose touch with reality.
we lose our identity and eventually
become someone else
other than our own.
we complicate our lives
till we reach our limit,
where we can not go further
and in the end
we ignite and explode.
losing balance.
losing sanity.
till we become
someone
beyond repair...
11.38am
11july08
and tell tales of damnation
we lose the very essence of truth.
we forget our values,
stances and beliefs.
we become doubtful,
living and manipulating
stories of our own.
our imagination controls us indefinitely
till we become
hypnotized under its spell.
we become prisoners of our own bait.
we lose touch with reality.
we lose our identity and eventually
become someone else
other than our own.
we complicate our lives
till we reach our limit,
where we can not go further
and in the end
we ignite and explode.
losing balance.
losing sanity.
till we become
someone
beyond repair...
11.38am
11july08
7.10.2008
7.06.2008
seventy times seven.
my hands were stained by blood
filthy blood
i was a man of sin,
of regret,
save me from this nothingness
i need to believe in something;
to believe in something
i have got nothing to show
got nothing to offer
i am the shame
i am the unpredictable outcast
deceit is what i am known for
the gun is my insignia
yet You came for me,
with longing arms You embraced me
You took my hand,
and wiped these incessant tears;
You were there all along
all along
my mistakes were irreparable
but You proved me wrong,
You said i can change
and change it is
it is the sweetest love,
i forget all the pain,
all the hatred i have come to know
in my heart, i know You never left me
after all these, You remain to be,
my Savior.
filthy blood
i was a man of sin,
of regret,
save me from this nothingness
i need to believe in something;
to believe in something
i have got nothing to show
got nothing to offer
i am the shame
i am the unpredictable outcast
deceit is what i am known for
the gun is my insignia
yet You came for me,
with longing arms You embraced me
You took my hand,
and wiped these incessant tears;
You were there all along
all along
my mistakes were irreparable
but You proved me wrong,
You said i can change
and change it is
it is the sweetest love,
i forget all the pain,
all the hatred i have come to know
in my heart, i know You never left me
after all these, You remain to be,
my Savior.
7.05.2008
tic tac toe.
the wind is blowing,
the dust seeping
it stings my lonely eyes
and brings back pain,
hating it once more
as it relives of the quagmire
i had once been.
the dust seeping
it stings my lonely eyes
and brings back pain,
hating it once more
as it relives of the quagmire
i had once been.
7th.
Other half: the dictator
Let the instigation begin
Upon checking your vitals
i realized -- this body needs a dictator
this pumping vessel sends compassion
flooding and overloading this system
hence making this citadel walls feeble
that a provoking word can reduce it to its downfall
how can i get this to stop?
we'll be beaten with this beating
better be a slave of the tyrant
and be the marionette
rather than to be the weak
So the ruler with the iron fist pleaded
all of you
hand me your strings, will you?
by: Aris Paragas
(a reply to "this armistice" by treos)
---
Other half: Panacea
Let the instigation begin.
Though I am the captain within these walls,
You were the one who inculculated all that I ever knew.
In light of your misleading, and ruling ---
I break away each time and
Tried to surpass this feat.
My instincts never failed.
It inveighed me to cut the tradition.
You hear what the screaming is all about.
You feel the rage pumping out;
Sending an unfamiliar route,
To search for the missing piece.
You tell what to do, but I act on it.
Control. When all the right things have left us ill-fated.
I suppose you get stranded in your own bitter realm;
And you get tired, but I keep on waiting.
They say, mind over matter; I
say, the heart is all that matters;
I tell you, it's my move to make
It's the one thing you can't fake
A panacea, for the untouchables.
Let the instigation begin
Upon checking your vitals
i realized -- this body needs a dictator
this pumping vessel sends compassion
flooding and overloading this system
hence making this citadel walls feeble
that a provoking word can reduce it to its downfall
how can i get this to stop?
we'll be beaten with this beating
better be a slave of the tyrant
and be the marionette
rather than to be the weak
So the ruler with the iron fist pleaded
all of you
hand me your strings, will you?
by: Aris Paragas
(a reply to "this armistice" by treos)
---
Other half: Panacea
Let the instigation begin.
Though I am the captain within these walls,
You were the one who inculculated all that I ever knew.
In light of your misleading, and ruling ---
I break away each time and
Tried to surpass this feat.
My instincts never failed.
It inveighed me to cut the tradition.
You hear what the screaming is all about.
You feel the rage pumping out;
Sending an unfamiliar route,
To search for the missing piece.
You tell what to do, but I act on it.
Control. When all the right things have left us ill-fated.
I suppose you get stranded in your own bitter realm;
And you get tired, but I keep on waiting.
They say, mind over matter; I
say, the heart is all that matters;
I tell you, it's my move to make
It's the one thing you can't fake
A panacea, for the untouchables.
blind spot.
i know i must have been a fool.
but you know what?
WE ALL ARE.
ve've been alienated.
we've been strangulated.
piece by piece, we got stripped off;
exposing us to the mocking crowd.
still, we fight back.
why?
because, that's
the only way
we know HOW.
but you know what?
WE ALL ARE.
ve've been alienated.
we've been strangulated.
piece by piece, we got stripped off;
exposing us to the mocking crowd.
still, we fight back.
why?
because, that's
the only way
we know HOW.
6.29.2008
stigmatized.
A second had passed,
----------But I sat still.
I hear the clock saying: tick tock, tick tock
My ears were deadened by the mute beleaguerment,
The sweet abhorrence searing through every finality
Of my body.
"The end is near", the voice had warned.
They came to get me.
----------But I sat still.
All along, I was alone. Was alone.
Senseless notions have been raised,
The talks that assasinate the innocent,
The unprepared vagabond walking through.
----------But I sat still.
Every move I make is crucial.
One mistake can be fatal.
They thought I didn't know --- of the lies,
The betrayment --- they sold me out,
They have gambled at one painstakingly price ---
At the cost of my freedom.
The very thing that was left of me.
They stole.They crushed. And they have won.
----------But I sat still.
The truce has been casted, but good and evil
Split still.
Man has to choose only one.
And I have got
No choice. No choice.
----------But I sat still.
They were calling my name out ---
Faces I can't comprehend,
Voices I can't apprehend.
They all want me. No one but me.
----------But I sat still.
The war is ablaze.
People are getting hurt,
No one wants to yield.
The pact has been sealed.
There's blood everywhere.
----------But I sat still.
Lives have been rendered,
Still no one has surrendered.
They all want me.
For I,
I hold the power.
The power to alter
This life's course.
The power to make a change.
The power to turn it all back. ..
--------But I, I chose to sat still.
23.45
28June06
----------But I sat still.
I hear the clock saying: tick tock, tick tock
My ears were deadened by the mute beleaguerment,
The sweet abhorrence searing through every finality
Of my body.
"The end is near", the voice had warned.
They came to get me.
----------But I sat still.
All along, I was alone. Was alone.
Senseless notions have been raised,
The talks that assasinate the innocent,
The unprepared vagabond walking through.
----------But I sat still.
Every move I make is crucial.
One mistake can be fatal.
They thought I didn't know --- of the lies,
The betrayment --- they sold me out,
They have gambled at one painstakingly price ---
At the cost of my freedom.
The very thing that was left of me.
They stole.They crushed. And they have won.
----------But I sat still.
The truce has been casted, but good and evil
Split still.
Man has to choose only one.
And I have got
No choice. No choice.
----------But I sat still.
They were calling my name out ---
Faces I can't comprehend,
Voices I can't apprehend.
They all want me. No one but me.
----------But I sat still.
The war is ablaze.
People are getting hurt,
No one wants to yield.
The pact has been sealed.
There's blood everywhere.
----------But I sat still.
Lives have been rendered,
Still no one has surrendered.
They all want me.
For I,
I hold the power.
The power to alter
This life's course.
The power to make a change.
The power to turn it all back. ..
--------But I, I chose to sat still.
23.45
28June06
6.26.2008
kismet.
images of black and white
flashed before me
with an unknowing purpose,
it struck me into oblivion
we meet again
not a star in the
sky tonight --
not again, not never
we stay as we are
locked into each other's gaze
we held our lives
intertwined, to be one, as one
unfazed by uncertainty
we flew together
away from this,
away from here,
-------------in a heartbeat.
1:29pm
26june08
flashed before me
with an unknowing purpose,
it struck me into oblivion
we meet again
not a star in the
sky tonight --
not again, not never
we stay as we are
locked into each other's gaze
we held our lives
intertwined, to be one, as one
unfazed by uncertainty
we flew together
away from this,
away from here,
-------------in a heartbeat.
1:29pm
26june08
6.19.2008
77.
Someone said, that: life, is not about “fitting in”, it’s about appreciating that you are different, and all of us are. We have to realize that there is more to what is beyond us, that we have something else other than just our superficial facets. We have to understand that we are far more precious than we think.
Scott Peck once wrote that “life is difficult”. It is difficult. It is very difficult. But once you get out of your way to seeing life’s difficulty as something far more elusive but is of worth, then may be, you would know what life is to you. When we’re in a situation that demands us more than what we expect, we feel scared, to the point that we would give up something we shouldn’t have. But if you actually push yourself to doing the unexpected rather than just waiting for someone to pull you up, then definitely you’ll be up there waving your own flag of success.
Being judgmental can sometimes blind you to what the actual thing really portrays. Sometimes you have to dig deeper to what the naked eye sees.
Life, is not about “fitting in". It is about appreciating yourself in your own terms and not letting others manipulate the way you see things as they are. As you are. For one thing, we all are hoping to seek new avenues to explore, to take a chance to be different. And to take risks. After all, true is the saying: no pain, no gain.
You don’t have to change anything. Dare to be bold. We have to learn how to cross boundaries, to walk on intercessions and be brave to fight for our right. So be real. Be your own unique person. It would definitely change the way you see your life now, and make those screwed up situations seem worth everything you work hard for, more meaningful even just in ordinary ways.
6.18.2008
.thou shalt write.
A blank sheet. An immaculate representation of man’s momentary
solitude before he puts his pen down and make a 360 degree turn from reality.
The ink. To which he
is subjected to, gaining impulses from his soul to another. Translating it into
words, possessed by instinct, greed, longing and truth.
The writer. The
communicator, the maestro, the heart and soul to which another learns from. The
one who steps into his usual reverie, cunningly keeping pace, unravelling his
worth.
The cause for which we all are fighting for, to free ourselves and those who are enslaved by their innocence and ignorance --- to serve as instruments to voice out what is unseen, what is unheard, what is unspoken and those that are left forgotten.
For centuries, writing has been the fundamental method for relaying and exposing various ideas and notions. It has witnessed countless stories --- to which we have learned and benefitted from and to some extent, has even saved us from eternal damnation.
We write not for the sole purpose of wanting to eradicate the loose ends of our consciousness. When we write, our souls take over. It immerses with our intrusiveness and melds the way we think. We are not trying to impose our ground for idiosyncrasy we are merely hoping for a vindication for our conjured work.
Writing is passion. It creates a whole new avenue for us that we could call our own. However, it remains as a risk, a gamble --- a territory we know only too well. But we thrive on it, to give us drive and to make our works a little more profitable for the public to read.
Living in writing. We continue to exist in the belief that we are serving our purpose to reach out to those who need it, to educate the uneducated, to enrich the lives of those who are in despair and to spread the good vibes to those living in the shadows of darkness.
We write not for the sole purpose of wanting to eradicate the loose ends of our consciousness. When we write, our souls take over. It immerses with our intrusiveness and melds the way we think. We are not trying to impose our ground for idiosyncrasy we are merely hoping for a vindication for our conjured work.
Writing is passion. It creates a whole new avenue for us that we could call our own. However, it remains as a risk, a gamble --- a territory we know only too well. But we thrive on it, to give us drive and to make our works a little more profitable for the public to read.
Living in writing. We continue to exist in the belief that we are serving our purpose to reach out to those who need it, to educate the uneducated, to enrich the lives of those who are in despair and to spread the good vibes to those living in the shadows of darkness.
We say, bring it on. We are but one. We are not trying to stain the impeccable and the pristine state of literature before us. We are not even half-way there. We are simply but defiantly screams the word write.
Write, so be it.
6.16.2008
.ire.
As I began to contemplate on the more pressing issues of mankind today (like the never-ending poverty, the non-sense killings, depression, etc.), I realized, there’s not much that I could possibly do to make the situation better.
I have always believed that man, everyone, has their good side. Or so I thought they have. I could not fathom why evil hovers around us like it is some ritual we have all come to inhabit and eventually, succumb into. It is a very harsh but true realization. I never imagined that I would have this bit of an inkling about this matter but sadly, I have. Rather because the reality was there all along and I was just too blind or too naïve to be sucking up all my pride trying to justify man’s goodness.
You might think I am all for the gore but I am not. It’s just that what I have come to see right before my eyes could not anymore contain this side of mankind.
Is there no place to hide anymore? What fear do we have that our faith could not battle? Is this how the world is supposed to end? If only we have the courage to remain as ourselves and let some divine intervention wash away all our impurities and take that chance of turning over a new leaf --- for a change. A change that would venerate the real purpose of our being.
…And then maybe all those people who have and had lived in fear, of doubt, would never have to feel that same way, ever again --- including myself.
I have always believed that man, everyone, has their good side. Or so I thought they have. I could not fathom why evil hovers around us like it is some ritual we have all come to inhabit and eventually, succumb into. It is a very harsh but true realization. I never imagined that I would have this bit of an inkling about this matter but sadly, I have. Rather because the reality was there all along and I was just too blind or too naïve to be sucking up all my pride trying to justify man’s goodness.
You might think I am all for the gore but I am not. It’s just that what I have come to see right before my eyes could not anymore contain this side of mankind.
Is there no place to hide anymore? What fear do we have that our faith could not battle? Is this how the world is supposed to end? If only we have the courage to remain as ourselves and let some divine intervention wash away all our impurities and take that chance of turning over a new leaf --- for a change. A change that would venerate the real purpose of our being.
…And then maybe all those people who have and had lived in fear, of doubt, would never have to feel that same way, ever again --- including myself.
5.03.2008
mixmatched. mismatched.
i was struck by this idea some days ago. i was talking to myself, well not really, i was actually having this conversation with God about things --- my usual rantings about random stuff. then i came about with this notion about puzzles. yeah. puzzles. as in like jigsaw puzzles. or that kind of puzzle included in the kiddie pack give aways during kiddie birthdays. you know with the cartoon character on it? well, i felt like one. i feel like that most of the time nowadays. i felt like i was one of the pieces needed to be put up when jumbled. i feel like i have all the right pieces to match but couldn't find its exact placings. i couldn't venture just as much because something is missing. something mismatched that i couldn't seem to fix. and it bothers me. it bothers me because it is who i am supposed to be. i am supposed to be whole. i am supposed to be a complete being in all its rightful places. but i am not. and i wonder why. no matter how re-arranged my life seems to be, i still couldn't figure out how to be one.
it's only a matter of time when i'd know what i am supposed to be, what i really want, who and what i am living for. everything has a purpose, and so they say --- and i believe in it. i just have to start learning how to believe in myself and what i could do.. right?
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